CORNY BUT FUNNY

I went into peels of laughter after dinner today. Just before picking up her plate, my Danish host Esben Ihle asked his wife Helle, "Are you finish?"

Her reply, "No, I'm Danish."

I laughed so hard I knocked my head on the chair next to me. I find many similarities between Danes and Indians and one of them, perhaps the most important one, is that we laugh at the same things.

THE DANES ARE NOT SURPRISED

On the first evening in Haderslev in south Denmark, I went to my host Christian Juhl’s mothers home. It was a linguistically-challenged affair. Noone there knew English and I didn’t know a word of Danish. My energy was spent mid-way through the meal after all the animated acting involved in communicating what I was trying to say. I gave up and sat in silence eating Gammeldags hvidkal – a mash of cabbage and cream (quite nice). But the family – Christian Juhl, his sister Rita, her husband Gunnar and their mum Annalise continued to speak in Danish. I thought Christian must have been telling very interesting tales because Rita was drawing in her breath every few minutes.

The following day I met more people making sharp intakes of breath, every few sentences. The Danes must be easily surprised I thought. But its only now at the end of the first week here that I realise its their characteristic way of speaking. Spoken words are followed by a gulp of air.

Now I don’t rush to ask what the matter is when I hear a “whu”. Its just air making its way into a Danish throat.

FANCY CAKE

I'm turning my 'Reporter's Diary' into a little holiday notepad over the next few weeks. I can't be bothered to start another blog just for this and I think it will be nice to write things down so I don't forget. I wish, I wish I had done this on earlier vacations. I will be adding pictures as soon as I can. I'm carrying an old camera thats giving me hopeless pictures so the minute I can start bumming photos from my friends they'll be up here.

I dislike flying. I loathe airports and I think nobody should use them unless they are flying. Its definitely the worst way to begin a holiday. Anyway....

At the Frankfurt Airport my friend ordered a "fancy cake". True to her vegetarian roots (pun unintended) she asked the salesperson if it had "beef gelatin" in it. Even I have not heard that one before but he laughed so derisively at the idea, I think it killed her appetite.

I am happy to say that since then things have gone very well. More follows.

TELEVISED ANGER

Recently Arjun Singh was at IIT to inaugurate a new hostel block. But being the villain in the reservation saga, students conducted a 'spontaneous', 'flash' protest. Promptly the media was called. (Protests, dharnas, fasts and demonstrations these days seem to take place only inside a frame.) The frantic calls by a few students forced me and a cameraman into the car heading towards IIT. Three students received us at the gate and called their mates to tell them we had arrived and to be "ready".

That pissed me off. But I said nothing. Then when we reached the venue of the "protest", much to my chagrin, the students started asking me what to do. "Should we sit or should we stand? Should we march or should we stay here? Should we call more students or is this enough? Should we burn the banner or shouldnt we?"

Thats it! Stop! I lost my cool. I blame the media as much as I blame the students for asking me these questions. There are lots of unethical practices that go entirely unquestioned these days, starting with making people shout slogans for the camera, or directing them to do things they would not have otherwise done. Its pardonable if its a feature story and sometimes you need to 'direct' people into doing certain things - like make an author read his book while shots of him are taken, or make a chef toss up the noodles for the camera. Thats allowed. But if its news, its simply unpardonable. These students obviously dont know any better either. I said, "This is not a film and i'm not a director. Do what you have to do or don't do anything at all. I frankly don't care."

Then to make matters worse and ruin my mood further, the students turned out to be a divided house with some overenthusiastic ones getting carried away with the idea a protest and others warning them of dire consequences. It was the last straw. There was no way this lie was ever going to be on air. But just to say, televised protests are very often done like this.

GIGGLES MAKES ME SMILE

In a remote corner of the 'Giggles' bookstore sits a delightful lady called Nalini Chettur. Shes totally isolated from the negativity flowing in the world around her, as she sits there, indulging her first and only true love - books. When I went to meet her, she was reading Ogden Nash's 'Candy is Dandy' with such thought-provoking verse like:

In the world of Mules
There are no rules.

33 years ago, Nalini started 'Giggles' for a giggle, as she likes to say. Inspired by Helen Hanff's '84, Charing Cross Road', Nalini was offered a space inside the Taj Connemara Hotel. Over the years, the hotel has been shrinking that space and thats how Giggles has ended up becoming the "biggest little book shop" with all of 100 square feet. There are over one lakh titles crammed into its incredible smallness. Books are stacked from floor to ceiling with one narrow sinew that can only indulgently be called the aisle and you have to be pretty little yourself to visit the biggest little bookshop.

Worthies like William Golding, Michael Palin, Ranil Wickremasinghe and Amitav Ghosh are part of the long list of people who have visited her store.

Nalini loves books and goes through every single one that comes to her store. Thats why when she talks about a book she imbues it with a special quality. No computers for her. Her entire inventory is in her head. Her delight in a book is infectious and she immediately arouses your interest and awakens the imagination.

Im having a difficult time trying to capture the charming character of 'Giggles' and its owner - exactly why Nalini thinks not everyone who has a book in them should write. So ill leave it here. But im a sworn Giggler now.

MISPLACED INDIAN PRIDE

Why are Indians so averse to criticism??? I finally found the story that has pushed me to write this post. It was a ridiculous, ridiculous piece on ‘Slum tourism in Mumbai’ from a channel that exhorts us to ‘Feel the News’. I feel sick.

The two Indian anchors practically bullied two foreign tourists invited to their studio, for walking through the squalor of the slums of Dharavi and stripping its residents of ‘dignity’ and being totally ‘insensitive’ to these real ‘people’.

(They took the moral high ground that Indian tour operators were making money off India’s poverty.)

But frankly, who are we to talk about dignity and insensitivity? If we were so sensitive, we’d be thinking of ways to get foreign tourists to help these people lead better lives with their dollars, not abuse them for wanting to see the reality of India and for gods sake - stop lying to the world - it is a reality!

The beleaguered male foreign tourist said, “I agree that there might be some insensitivity in going through their slums, but these people were actually happy to see us. They were happy to talk about the industry in their slum and show us what they were manufacturing.’ Its certainly more than what most Indians have time for so what are we complaining about??

The female tourist was more combative. She said, “Of course, I’m here to see the slums. I want to see how people live. That’s why you travel.” Whats wrong with that?

The story ran a sound byte of some average Mumbai lady saying, “I don’t want others to see the dirty side of my city, Mumbai. That’s certainly not the side I want the world to see.”

I think its clasically representative of a misplaced pride that many Indians have. There is a certain rejection of the realities of India and a selective choice of things we are proud of. Real pride is when you accept these bitter realities not pretend they don’t exist.

Another instance of this misplaced pride is the hue and cry over the treatment meted out to the 12 Mumbai passengers detained by Dutch authorities for suspiscious behaviour. Admittedly, we live in unhappy, paranoid times but the Dutch authorities don’t call in fighter jets just to scratch a racist itch.

Such misplaced pride. Show the world your slums. Atleast it might bring in tourist money that you can use to improve the slums – the festering eye-sore you are so ashamed of but find no creative solutions to improve.

In an interview on the protests in Pakistan over the death of Baloch leader, Nawab Akbar Khan Bugti, Pakistan foreign ministry spokesperson Tasneem Aslam, pretty much told India to mind its own business. She said, “Let India not worry about the protests in Pakistan. Let them concentrate instead on its flooding dams, its dying farmers and its malnourished children.” We will, when we aren't so busy trying to sell the world a half-truth.

DOES THE AL-QAEDA EXIST IN INDIA?

This was an interview I did with the security expert B. Raman days after the US warning that India could be on Al-Qaeda's radar. B Raman is a retired bureaucrat and has been a former member of the National Security Advisory Board (2000 to 2002) and the Special Task Force on revamping the intelligence apparatus in the country.

Does the Al-Qaeda have a presence in India?

As far as I know there is no presence of Al-Qaeda as an organisation in India. It is an exclusively Arab organisation because Osama bin Laden does not admit non-arabs for the sake of his own security. He hires only those people whose loyalty he is certain of. But there are a number of other organisations that are associated with the Al-Qaeda in the international Islamic front through the United Front of Jihadi organisations of the World formed by him in February 1998. Four of them are very active in India - the Lashkar e-Taiba, Harkat-ul-Mujahideen, Harkat-ul-jihad-al-Islami and Jaish e-Mohammed. These four are associated with Al-Qaeda.

After 9/11 when America attacked Afghanistan the command and control of Al-Qaeda were considerably disrupted. At that time Osama bin Laden asked LeT to take over responsibility of co-ordinating the work of the international Islamic front.

Also, since April this year Osama bin Laden has started taking more interest in India. He made a broadcast on April 23rd where he projected global jihad as a conspiracy of Christians, Jews and Hindus against Islam. So since April he has included Hindus as well.

To answer your question - Al-Qaeda itself does not exist in India, but it has links with several organisations and individuals here.

What was the immediate provocation for him to include the term 'Hindus' in his April broadcast?

It happened immediately after George W. Bush's visit to India. He made a broadcast through an audio tape released through Al-Jazeera. There he said that Bush has allowed himself to be pressurised by the government of India to exercise pressure on Pakistan to stop assistance to Jihadis in Kashmir. So the immediate provocation is the close relationship between India and the US.

Al-Qaeda is becoming an ideology. So does it become just as dangerous that they have links here, even if they dont exist in India?

Al-Qaeda is an ideology which they have borrowed from Pakistan - what they call international Islamism, where they say that the first loyalty of a Muslim is to his religion and then only to the country of which he is a citizen. They claim, Muslims do not recognise national frontiers - so they have the right to make jihad anywhere where Muslims are in danger and their human rights are being violated.

Previously Al-Qaeda was content to act through organisations like LeT, Harkat-ul-Mujahideen etc. They had left it to them - they just provided money, arms and ideas. Since April the Al-Qaeda has taken a more direct interest in India.

Indian Muslims have kept themselves away from the Al-Qaeda and a small number supports groups like the LeT. As a result Indian muslims are not under suspicion - for example a Pakistani Muslim can't get a visa easily to go to the US and Europe. They can't transfer money easily - even through legitimate banking channels it takes a long time because enquiries are made, whereas Indian Muslims are not yet under suspicion - they have kept away from Al-Qaeda. Osama bin Laden is very keen to organise another major terror strike against the US. So he is looking for people who have not come to the adverse notice of the western intelligence agencies and thats why they are trying to recruit Indians - not only for terror against India but also for terrorist operations in the West. Bin Laden and Al-Qaeda think they can travel much more easily. For example, Bilal al Hindi - a Muslim of Gujarati origin (he was a Hindu Gujarati convert to Islam from East Africa and has been arrested in the UK) was sent to the US because he would not be viewed with as much suspicion as a Pakistani Muslim.

Then will bin Laden find his human resource here?

Well, one has to make a distinction between radicalisation and pan-Islamisation. The radicalisation of Indian Muslims started after the demolition of the Babri Masjid in Dec. 1992. Earlier you had communal riots but there was never an act of jihadi terrorism. The first act on Indian territory outside Kashmir took place after the demolition of the Babri Masjid. While they became radical they were not supporting the Al-Qaeda. If Al-Qaeda is to have a base here, it has to have some support from Indian Muslims. Till April this year they did not have support unlike in some parts of south east Asia where you'll find Osama bin Laden caps and T-shirts being sold openly. But in April, when Bush came there were a number of demonstrations in Bombay, Delhi and Lucknow. I read in newspapers that in Bombay people shoulted pro-Osama slogans. Its a very small number but there is that small number that is getting attracted to his pan-Islamist ideology, whereas, previously they were just radicalised. They did not look upon it as part of a global movement. Their problem was with the government at the centre and the state. Now Al-Qaeda is trying to make them feel that they are part of a global movement.

THE MEEK ARE STUCK IN TRAFFIC

I should’ve written about this a long time ago. Its not ‘newsy’ anymore, but because it still makes me angry to drive past the DGP’s office in Chennai, I’m going to put it down.

In a traffic island in the middle of the road stands the tall statue of thespian Sivaji Ganesan. With its unveiling on July 21st, Karunanidhi has ticked off another item from his long list of (slightly dubious) poll promises.

The location of the statue was contested in court because it violated the Tamil Nadu government’s own undertaking before the Supreme Court that they would not erect any structure (temporary or permanent) that would obstruct movement of traffic. The Madras High court directed the state government to seek the SC’s permission on the location of the statue, but declined to stay its unveiling.

And then in the most brazen display of the governments contempt for the common mans problems and violating their own undertaking, they conducted the unveiling ceremony right there in the middle of the road, blocking off traffic on the arterial Kamaraj Salai while office leaving traffic was forced through the parallel but much much narrower road that runs just along the beach.

I tried to speak to a few people who were crawling along in traffic and was disgusted to find that people just don’t feel angry. Silently like lambs being led to the slaughter they negotiated their way, crawling along where they would’ve been zipping down the beach road. Yet, stop and ask them a question and the responses ranged from… ‘no… it is ok’ to ‘the traffic is not that bad’ to people just walking away! Rudely!

The meek shall not inherit the earth if they get stuck in traffic.

And today two policemen stand guard in front of and behind the statue. Surely, in a city where a serious robbery can take place in the chief ministers own neighbourhood, and the police to public ratio gets more disproportionate all the time, police resources can be put to better use than guarding dead heroes.

CHENNAI SUPPORTS LEBANON

'Physicians for Peace', 'Peoples Union for Civil Liberties' and other peace organisations are meeting this evening to protest against Israel's senseless bombing of Lebanon. The protest starts at 5:30 pm this evening near the Gandhi Statue on the Marina Beach.

Meanwhile, read this open letter from an Arab girl to President Bush.

QUICK UPDATE

I finally shot 'Youth Unplugged' at PSBB in Nungambakkam and the kids there were a riot of energy. Towards the end it descended into a shouting match, and, I was forced to grab the microphones out of their hands. But all in all, a high-energy affair full of passion.

Anyway, just wanted to tell all the anonymous nobodys out there that you can't comment on my space anymore. Reveal thyself and you can pass.

YOUTH UNPLUGGED

'Youth Unplugged' is a show where school students debate issues that concern them, or atleast, should concern them. Im planning to do one on 'censorship' and 'ethical spending'. Do mail me if you'd like to participate or know someone who does. Remember, this is for school students only. I'll be shooting on Tuesday, 25th July.

CURTAINS UP ON THE CODE

The Madras High Court has allowed the screening of The Da Vinci Code, calling its suspension, a violation of freedom of speech. A heartening judgment indeed. More importantly, Justice Prabha Sridevan observed, ‘It would be dangerous to suspend the screening of the film, if petulant groups of self-appointed persons demanded so even after it had the approval of the Censor Board of Film Certification.’ You can read the operative portion here.

TAMING THE BULL

I was not well enough to work but neither was I ill enough to stay in bed. In such a sorry physical state, I went over to meet Amrutha Radhakrishnan, at her home in Tambaram on a damp, rainy day in Chennai. But the preoccupation of sickness lifted rapidly as she started narrating her story to me. It was shocking and moving. She said, “At the beginning of this year my cup of joy was overflowing… today its empty. We might be out on the streets soon.” Over the next two hours, she narrated the financial tragedy of how she, her husband and two little children were cheated out of nearly one crore rupees by the stock trading firm, Indiabulls Securities.

The story of her battle to get her money back is convoluted and difficult to narrate. (You can read about it here.)

But the reason I’m writing about this is because Amrutha’s story is remarkable. She has been fighting a long, arduous battle against this corporate giant and she has finally won. But the fight has been exhausting, frustrating and heart-breaking. She went to everyone for help – police, lawyers, media, NSE, SEBI and of course Indiabulls. Some helped, some promised to help, some were indifferent and Indiabulls tried to shut her up.

But she didn’t keep quiet. In fact, she lent her voice to other ordinary investors like her. Today more than 50 of them have managed to get back their money because she fought so hard for them and she herself is finally smiling all the way to the bank again.

However, it has all happed because, through this extremely difficult time, with two young children and a looming financial crisis, Amrutha never gave up. It was not an option. She has been resourceful, energetic, dignified and gracious. She thought of me when she got her money back and I was delighted. I salute her spirit.

DA VINCI ... LATEST

Subramanian Swamy, President of the Janata Party, economics whiz and accused in many defamation cases, has impleaded himself in the Da Vinci Code case in Tamil Nadu. His argument is that the DMK government’s move violates Article 19 (a) of the Constitution which guarantees the freedom of speech and expression.

P.S: Rajesh - please be brief.

BOO THE BAN

Are Indian Christians more Christian than the Pope and the Vatican? They have tolerated the 'Da Vinci Code' but these guys can't. On the other hand when Jayalalithaa had said a few years ago that the Pope had no business to criticise the functioning of a democratically elected government, the same group of faithful were the first to take offense. Whats worse this time is even Muslims have shown some fake solidarity in the hope that the the favour will be returned when its their turn.

(Please dont say banal things like there are moderate voices too.... thats a given. I KNOW....Thank God!)

There are a few minority pressure groups close to the DMK who have forced the government to take this absolutely gutless decision. Fear law and order problems? Then get your police force to tackle it not buckle and ban.

Despite the Andhra Pradesh High Court upholding the right to free speech and expression, theatre owners in Hyderabad are not taking the risk of releasing the film because they fear violence. The case is being heard in a court in Tamil Nadu also. Lets see what this court says. We interviewed a few people outside Sathyam theatre and one guy said, "If it hurts the sentiments of a community, then its good that the film is banned." To him I wanted to say... Dont like it? Dont watch it. Simple. The choice is YOURS.

(Of course, the only reason the movie should be banned is because I hear its a CRAP film! I haven't seen it... Remember? Its banned!))

'COVER'ING A NEWS STORY

Here in India, in our jargon its called 'cover journalism' - the type of journalism where you accept cash (or freebies) for stories. So, journalists could be slipped an envelope or 'cover' containing cash and he/she will take care of the rest. There are lots of journalists who are very accepting of this sort of thing.

The American military has institutionalised 'cover journalism' - especially in Iraq. Following is a very brief excert from a New York Times article.

The most critical portion of the report concerns the military's creation in 2004 of an entity called the Baghdad Press Club, in which Iraqi journalists were paid if they covered and produced stories about American reconstruction efforts, such as openings of schools and sewage plants.

THE SUN RISES

HI all....Thanks for the comments to the previous post and apologies for not being able to reply. The new government is firmly in place and Vijaykanth has won afterall. The swearing-in ceremony was a disaster held in the nauseating heat of an indoor stadium bursting beyond capacity. Sun TV's pre-eminence was on display with their cameras getting the best positions and live coverage of a horribly organised event. Im not too excited about the DMK coming to power and obviously neither is Jayalalithaa. She has gone to the extent of saying that handing over power to the new government is like garlanding a monkey. I dont know about monkeys but what concerns me is the DMK's hold over the media and its ability to blot out all critical points of view. Tamil daily 'Dinakaran' is owned by them and its cut-throat pricing of 1 rupee is seriously threatening the existence of papers like the Dina Thanthi. SUN TV of course, continues to beam down propaganda and Dayanidhi Maran's ownership of the Telecom Ministry will cause even the most daring neutral channels to pause and think.

WHO IS WHO?

Poor actor Vijaykanth, founder of the fledgling DMDK, is taking on two Dravidian juggernauts who are adept at the art of sabotage. Take for example the fact that in backward Virudhachalam, from where he is contesting, there are three other 'independent' candidates also called Vijaykanth! These candidates have been propped up allegedly by the DMK and PMK. Remember that on an electronic voting machine there are only party symbols not the party names. Vijaykanth (the real one) has only recently received his, which is a drum. But as he goes around Virudhachalam asking people to vote for the drum, three other Vijaykanths will be at work asking people to vote for a 'Banana', 'Ring' and 'Television respectively. Put yourself in the place of an illiterate voter..... all pretty confusing. It might be a muffled drum beat indeed.

BANGALORE BURNS

Drunken mobs attacking helpless policemen, burning police jeeps and buses, pelting stones and attacking the media ... but actor Raj Kumar's passing away had little to do with it. It was just the occasion and a great opportunity. The establishment's tenuous grip on law and order is exposed everytime a mob comes face to face with authority. Girish Karnad, one of Bangalore's more famous citizens placed the blame entirely at the doorstep of the Kumaraswamy government. No doubt they did botch it up. Directing and re-directing thousands of people to different venues is like sending a bunch of elephants in heat down a labyrinth. But isn't it unfair to blame it all on the government? Where, oh where, is responsible citizenship? I spluttered with rage when I saw Bangalore youth attacking everything in sight and then grinning like madmen into the camera, stripping the funeral of any dignity. But then again, such occassions are perhaps the only time when the vast majority of the lower middle class and the poor can hit back at the system. The occasion becomes the excuse to attack the same system that on an ordinary day in Bangalore denies the numerical majority of their dignity. Its the rare moment when they are on top.

PS: Another perspective - sometimes busting things up is plain good fun!

REPORTER'S BLOCK

I have finally finished scripting the story on the chaos in medical and technical education in Tamil Nadu. Big thanks to all of you who left messages and contacts here. But to be honest with you, I'm not happy with the final product. (It goes on air sometime between 9 and 10 pm on 'India This Week' today - 19th March, though, I'm probably not doing a good job of promoting it!)

Its been a difficult story to write what with trying to describe the myriad problems of higher education with its complex network of government and private institutions. TV is not a very information-friendly medium, so I'm afraid that the viewer will either be bored or befuddled by the twists and turns of the Common Entrance Test (CET) first being scrapped, then being restored, then the legislation scrapping CET being scrapped, then challenged... If I have lost you, the reader, by now, the viewer may have shifted to VH1 paragraphs ago.

I tried not to detail too many twists and turns, but there in the details, lay the devil, and, without it there was perhaps no story. Anyway, its an important story to tell because it's high time the Ministry of Human Resources Development seriously started thinking about introducing only ONE single test, like the SAT, going by the chaos on campus here. So if you do watch it.... I hope you find it engaging.